"Honeys if your gay...

...burn it up, like a gay parade"


I am scared. I am scared to be true to myself and just be gay. I thought that I just hated clubs, and had no interest in going to gay themed places...but after talking with a friend today, I think I'm going to take that step. I will be consumed by depression if I do not take this step, this leap of courage to be who I am. I don't want to end up like the others who go through countless months and years of torture until they finally come to terms with their sexuality and find happiness. But I am frightened. I am petrified. I always thought I wasn't afraid to be myself. I am petrified. I act like it's a fucking life sentence. I always thought it wasn't a big part of me. I guess it's not a big part of everyone, it's just who they are...I'm so scared. I need this though. I need gay friends. I love my friends, but they can't relate to me regarding anything with my sexuality. They can be supportive and offer advice, but on what experience is their advice based upon? It seems so meaningless. Come May I am going to do this. I have to.