Fly Me To The Moon...

...And Let Me Play, Among The Stars

God...I can't sleep.
My mind turns over and over...literally racing at a pace of 10000 miles per minute. Sometimes I question why I even have a blog in the first place...I wonder; "What is the point in having a blog if no one is going to read it." And I would link my blog on Facebook or some other type of networking site...well...there really aren't any, but I'd like to think that I'm doing this more for myself than anyone else. I wouldn't really like 500+ people to have access to the most intricate details of my daily existence. I guess you can make posts private...somehow.
Hm. My Cat's twitching...
I really should start sleeping. I really really should.
I think I'm a bit of an outsider...some people may call it unique, but being unique generally places you on the outside I think. Is it so weird to be bisexual/gay and not have any desire to go to a gay bar and still not be a complete introvert? Sometimes I think that I'm having too good a time with my friends down in Gansett to really care. Which brings me to my next point:
Why does ones homosexuality define them?
I just find it increasingly apparent that many gay men tend to wear their homosexuality like a robe. Sure, they may have other dreams and aspirations, but first and foremost their identity is inextricably linked to their homosexuality. It's almost as if it's its own living, tangible being. I always get a look as if my neck is hosting an extra head whenever I say I haven't been to a gay club and know that I really would not enjoy myself at one. Whomever I say this to always offers the "don't knock it till' you've tried it" defense. I just have no desire whatsoever to try it. And when I explain that I'm sure I wouldn't meet someone worth meeting at a club/gay club, they defend this sacred place of dance with a sentence akin to "well you don't go there to find Mr.Right" So If I'm not going to meet anyone worth meeting there, why am I going in the first place? I just don't find clubs to be all that fun. Parties, sure. Random adventures, sure. Long drives, sure. Going out, sure. But I would like to think someday I'd meet someone on my own, at a place that does not promote the mass consumption of alcohol. And that's half the problem with meeting gay guys in real life. You can never assume someone is gay. If you are a straight man or woman, you can simply walk up to someone and offer your number without the fear of that person not playing for the same team, ultimately making you look like an idiot. This is why they have so many gay themed events, and I'm just not so into the community that I would really be inclined to attend these events. Not to mention the fact that I haven't even ruled out the possibility that I may infact like women. And this is why I am still awake at 2:30 in the morning when I have to be up at 8:30.
What is the point in writing your thoughts if no one is to read it?